I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
