Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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