let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
