No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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