I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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