I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
