lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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