Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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