I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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