Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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