his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
