You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
