my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
