Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
