In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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