I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
