Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
50% drunk capacity currently
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
