Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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