He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
