Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we're making bets on your personal life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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