Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
