i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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