I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
