So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
