Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
