worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
