Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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