I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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