I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
