Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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