i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
