Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
