So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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