Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
