Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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