i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You made out with two different species that night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
