party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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