how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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