I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
