Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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