I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ketchup is God's man juice
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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