I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
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