We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
