You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
