i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
