somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
