I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
