u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
