I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
And the cops told us we were all naked.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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