his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
