You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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