Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
