Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just invented taco cereal.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We're too hungover to prance.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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