like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
