I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
