dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
