I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
