Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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