glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize